Reality Check

A friend of mine recently commented on her Facebook page “it’s all becoming a bit too real.” She, her husband and their 3 month old recently moved back from living in the Dominican Republic for 6 years, 13 years and 1 month, respectively. I remember that feeling very distinctively. When you first move back it’s hard. You are drained from saying many goodbyes, you are living out of suitcases until you settle into your new “home” and simply thinking about grocery shopping in a land where there are just way too many choices is down right paralyzing. And then after a couple months it becomes even harder as you realize: wait, I’m not going back…this is where I live now.

Ironically, the first time I experienced this phenomenon was when I first moved to the Dominican Republic after graduating from college. I had moved down in June and it was about mid-August when my mind naturally kicked into “I’m kind of excited to buy new pens for school” (yes, I was one of those kids who always loved to go back to school) and “I can’t wait to be with all my friends again.” And then I realized: wait, this is where I live now.

I recently discovered a list I drafted back in January entitled, “Options After I Graduate.”

Here the list:

1. Work for Young Life International
2. Work for Borderlinks
3. Start a union at Wal-Mart
4. Become a “Madre” (sidenote: we were at a conference in Tijuana and had just met the coolest nuns)
5. Work for World Council of Churches in Switzerland on the Decade to Overcome Violence initiative
6. Hope College Chaplain Department
7. Be a pastor—ACC in Tanzania?
8. Convert to Catholicism
9. Get more involved with social justice in the RCA
10. Move to Colorado
11. Move to San Diego
12. Move anywhere

I don’t think the list was in any particular order of preference but I do think that number 12 was the over-arching thought behind all of them. Except for, obviously, numero 6…which is what I am doing with my life. I remember hesitating as I wrote this option on the list because it conflicted with number 12. Life….so funny sometimes.

It’s mid-August. And while my new job affords me the luxury of buying new pens and being able to expense them (!) the reality that my friends are not coming back to Holland and we won’t be heading down to Lemonjello’s to do a group crossword anytime soon is setting in. The reality that I no longer can claim Student as my occupation but somehow became a Reverend is setting in. And the reality that when I wake up in the morning I am in my very own apartment, not merely house-sitting is setting in. This is where I live now.

This is a good place to be…and if you ever want to visit you are more than welcome.