You shouldn't love your spouse more than cheese...

This past week I was down in Dar es Salaam visiting some friends from the Dominican Republic (Charlie and Nancy Crane). It’s crazy that I have multiple DR connections here in Tanzania but then again, the world is a pretty crazy place.

It’s hard to fully describe Charlie & Nancy as they are unlike any people I have ever met. Perhaps this comes from the fact that they have lived in at least 7 different countries (he works for USAID), they have a steady stream of Peace Corp Volunteers and other vagabonds staying at their house in whichever country they live, they have raised three remarkable children, and they seem to fit in effortlessly in whichever country and community they find themselves in (though I know from conversations with them that it does indeed take a lot of effort!).

Nancy has really found her niche here in Tanzania. She is truly passionate about educating people on sex, specifically what the Bible has to say (or not say) about sex. In the past couple of years she has been able to give her talks to a few different groups of young people (young = anyone who is not yet married) here in Dar. I had the chance to go with her while she spoke to a university group for the first time, as well as sit in on a conversation the following evening with a group of young church leaders who had heard this talk a few months ago. While many of the lessons she taught may seem basic (i.e. God has designed sex for marriage, sex is to be enjoyed, rape is wrong, multiple sex partners at one time is not a good idea) it truly was radical information for many.

Sex is not talked about here. But it doesn’t mean that there isn’t an abundance of sex being had. While this may seem like a sexually conservative culture on the outside, if you dig a bit deeper you discover that sex and sexual relationships are perhaps even more complex and convoluted than they are in the States. I learned this weekend that it is not uncommon for people to have various partners depending on what ‘needs’ they might have, that most women are raped at some point (though they wouldn’t call it that) and that many university students are involved in transactional sex (i.e. a young woman will find herself offered rides to and from her village and in return ‘asked’ for sex).

While I didn’t agree with every single point that Nancy made, I completely agree that sex ought to be talked about more in the church. Kudos to her for talking about sex and encouraging others to talk about it as well.

The most comical point in the evening at the university came after 2 ½ hours of sex talk. Dunford, the leader of the group, decided it would be a good time for an altar call (side note: this solidified the thought I have had for a while that if I ever write a book it will be entitled “Altar Calls”). Why on earth he thought that, I have no idea. But he got out his best preacher voice and was backed by a synthesizer playing quietly in the background some of the cheesiest (in my personal opinion) worship songs. Anyway, he was on a roll and I was really getting tired and just wanted to sit down but we were adamantly encouraged to “stand before the Lord,” when I swear I heard him say, “You shouldn’t love your spouse more than cheese!” What?!? After daring to open my eyes and take a quick glance around, It didn’t take me too long to figure out that it was more likely that he said “more than Jesus” but at that point I had already lost it. So there I was, the only mzungu woman in the crowd with the giggles during the altar call.

And all I really kept thinking was,”hmm…I really like cheese. If I ever have a spouse that might be a hard one for me…”